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| Yes, this is gonna be another "Holly-themed post". FUCKING LIVE WITH IT. You don't have to read it if you don't wanna. ANYWAY, as cliche as it is, I'm too retarded and bad-at-romance to care so I made her a CD. Yes. Kimber said I could use the whole "one month" thing as a legit excuse, but I think that's overdoing it. I just felt like doing something nice for a nice girl, and it's not like I can express my feelings by myself, so I'm letting random music artists do it for me. Anyway, she loved it, so I'm fine with it being cliche and cheesy and whatever making CDs is considered nowadays. And because I know she does NOT read this blog, for some reason I'm gonna use it to rant about what I put on the CD. I don't know why. I feel like it. Like I said before "FUCKING LIVE WITH IT." Yes.
1. "Geeks in Love" Lemon Demon
Sample lines: "We rattle off our in-jokes while they wish that they were geeks in love. / And while we make each other smile, they wish that they were geeks in..."
Well, this one was just obvious cos we ARE both huge fucking geeks. We met through a mutual obsession with Transformers, durr hurr. So it's fitting. Plus we both like Lemon Demon well enough, and this is one of the cuter songs, so it was just perfect to start with.
2. "Here's to the Night" Eve 6
Sample lines: "All my time is froze in motion / Can't I stay an hour or two or more? / Don't let me let you go"
It's a sad song, actually, about, like, "parting is such sweet sorrow" and all that shit. The repetition of the line "Don't let me let you go" is what did it for me, since I'm terrified of doing something that'll scare her off. Plus it'll be uber fitting when I go stay with her in the summer. (Assuming my family lets me.)
3. "Bent" Matchbox 20
Sample lines: "Shouldn't be so complicated / Just hold me and then / Just hold me again / Can you help me? I'm bent / I'm so scared that I'll never / Get put back together"
Well, for starters, she knows how much I love Matchbox 20. I just relate so much to everything Rob Thomas sings! And she knows how terrified I am of this thing we have, and this song describes that perfectly. I dunno.
4. "Wonderwall" Oasis
Sample lines: "I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now"
Tch, this was an easy choice. We decided like hella ago that this was "our song".
5. "Crash Into Me" Dave Matthews Band
Sample lines: "Sweet like candy to my soul / Sweet you rock and sweet you roll / Lost for you, I'm so lost for you"
Holly likes DMB. Plus this song is so sweet, hahaha. I dunno, I think it's their best "romantic" song, but that may just be me. Whatever, though.
6. "My Freeze Ray" Neil Patrick Harris (from "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog"!)
Sample lines: "With my freeze ray I will find the time to find the words to / Tell you how / How you make / Make me feel / What's the phrase? / Like a fool / Kinda sick / Special needs / Anyways..."
Okay, haha, this one needs a bit more of an explanation. Like I said before, we're both TF nuts. So while other people call each other terms like "honey" and "baby" or whatever all them sickeningly sweet diabeetus-enducing words are, we call each other Perceptor and Wheeljack. (I'm Perceptor.) If you don't know, they're the Autobot scientists. Wheeljack is much, much, much, more outgoing than poor, shy, Perceptor who would TOTALLY invent a freeze ray to get 'Jack's attention. Okay, that sounds retarded, but we've compared them to Dr. Horrible before, so it makes sense to her, and that's all that really matters.
7. "I Touch Myself" The DiVinyls
Sample lines: "I love myself / I want you to love me / When I'm feelin' down / I want you above me"
It's a song about masturbation, hahahaha. Trust me, we both know perfectly legit reasons for why I included such a song. Reasons which I'm sure you guys don't wanna know. BWAHAHAHAHA.
8. "The Luckiest" Ben Folds
Sample lines: "And where was I before the day / That I first saw your lovely face? / Now I see it everyday / And I know / That I am, I am / I am the luckiest"
Tch, it's so cheesy, but I really do feel like I hella don't deserve her. Doesn't mean I'm gonna let her go, HELL NO. I'm lucky.
9. "Buddy Holly" Weezer
Sample Lines: "Woo-ee-oo, I look just like Buddy Holly / Oh-oh, and you're Mary Tyler Moore / I don't care what they say about us anyway / I don't care 'bout that."
It's true, I really don't give a fuck if other people think we're cute together or not. With things like homophobia, I kinda have to accept not everyone's gonna like us together. That's fine. Besides, I do have brown dyke hair and glasses. LIKE BUDDY HOLLY HAHAHA. PLUS. PLUS. THE SONG HAS HER NAME IN THE TITLE. I mean, that was really more a coincidence than anything else; I just picked songs I liked and thought she would like. BUT STILL.
10. "Falling is Like This" Ani DiFranco
Sample lines: "You can't fight gravity on a planet that insists / That love is like falling and falling is like this"
The only song on the CD that is specifically about a lesbian relationship, and a song that totally, if you listen to the whole thing, describes everything so perfectly without getting too sentimental. (The lines I put are the cheesiest in the whole song.)
11. "Love Buzz" Nirvana
Sample lines: "Would you believe me when I tell you / You're the queen of my heart?"
Okay, actually, I picked this song more for the hella awesome guitar part than the lyrics. (Not that that line isn't true.) Cos Holly loves guitar like I love piano. Which is a lot. To almost unhealthy levels.
12. "I Miss You" Incubus
Sample lines: "I know I'll see you again / Whether far or soon / But I need you to know / That I care and I miss you"
I hate when we are separated. So so much.
13. "Catch Me, I'm Falling" Pretty Poison
Sample lines: "You came into my life / The look in your eyes took me by surprise / It's you and nobody else / Your love has made me so blind I can't see"
Cheezy 80's pop music FTW. Haha, for some reason we both love such music; it would be a crime not to include some!
14. "Pearl Harbour Sucked And I Miss You" from some movie; I can't remember. "Team America" I think.
Sample lines: "I guess Pearl Harbour sucked just a little bit more than I miss you."
A parody of those cheesy love ballads that we both love to hate so much. Plus I really don't like the movie "Pearl Harbour" and she knows it, hahaha. Also doubles as another "I Miss You" type song, so, you know, it works.
15. "Because the Night" Patti Smith
Sample lines: "Come on now try and understand / The way I feel when Im in your hands / Take my hand come undercover / They cant hurt you now"
This is another one I'd rather not explain
16. "Sunday" Bloc Party
Sample lines: "I love you in the morning when you're still hungover"
Not that I have seen her hung over. But it's not really about being hungover. It's more about just kinda being there for someone and caring about them no matter how disgusting they look at the moment.
17. "This is the Time" Billy Joel
Sample lines: "This is the time to remember / Cos it will not last forever / These are the days to hold on to / Cos we won't although we'll want to / This is the time / But time is gonna change / You've given me the best of you / And now I need the rest of you"
I've ALWAYS loved this song. It's just so spot on.
18. "Never Gonna Give You Up" Rick Astley
Sample lines: Oh, come on, you all know how it goes.
Hahaha, I could NOT resist ending it with a good Rickroll. She gets it, hahahahaha. Seriously, she's awesome though. | | |
| I'm not sure what to make of this article, so I just copypasted it here in curiosity as to what you all think:
"Lesbian girls have a different brain structure
It is no news that people who have unconventional sexual orientation look differently. However the study showed that they also think differently.
Lesbians’ brains react differently to sex hormones than those of heterosexual women. An earlier study of gay men also showed their brain response was different from straight men — an even stronger difference than has now been found in lesbians.
Lesbians’ brains reacted somewhat, though not completely, like those of heterosexual men, a team of Swedish researchers said in Tuesday’s edition of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
A year ago, the same group reported findings for gay men that showed their brain response to hormones was similar to that of heterosexual women.
In both cases the findings add weight to the idea that homosexuality has a physical basis and is not learned behavior.
The research team led by Ivanka Savic at the Stockholm Brain Institute had volunteers sniff chemicals derived from male and female sex hormones. These chemicals are thought to be pheromones — molecules known to trigger responses such as defense and sex in many animals.
Whether humans respond to pheromones has been debated, although in 2000 American researchers reported finding a gene that they believe directs a human pheromone receptor in the nose.
The same team reported last year on a comparison of the response of male homosexuals to heterosexual men and women. They found that the brains of gay men reacted more like those of women than of straight men.
The new study shows a similar, but weaker, relationship between the response of lesbians and straight men.
Heterosexual women found the male and female pheromones about equally pleasant, while straight men and lesbians liked the female pheromone more than the male one. Men and lesbians also found the male hormone more irritating than the female one, while straight women were more likely to be irritated by the female hormone than the male one.
All three groups rated the male hormone more familiar than the female one. Straight women found both hormones about equal in intensity, while lesbians and straight men found the male hormone more intense than the female one.
The brains of all three groups were scanned when sniffing male and female hormones and a set of four ordinary odors. Ordinary odors were processed in the brain circuits associated with smell in all the volunteers.
In heterosexual males the male hormone was processed in the scent area but the female hormone was processed in the hypothalamus, which is related to sexual stimulation. In straight women the sexual area of the brain responded to the male hormone while the female hormone was perceived by the scent area.
In lesbians, both male and female hormones were processed the same, in the basic odor processing circuits, Savic and her team reported, according to the AP.
Larger populations need to be studied, Savic said. When asked if her research suggests that programmes to change sexuality would not be effective, she said: "We have no proof, but I anticipate in the majority of people these programmes will not work."
Others debate the meaning of the new research.
"It certainly suggests biological processes are at play," said Brian Mustanski, an assistant professor in the department of psychiatry at the University of Illinois at Chicago . "And they certainly could be intersecting with some sort of environmental effects." Health24.com reports.
Although Savic told one reporter that her data suggest programs that attempt to change sexual orientation likely would not work for most people, she was careful not to attribute sexuality to differences in the brain. Rather than sexual orientation being determined by neural biology, the opposite may instead – or also – be true: that learned behavior influences brain anatomy and physiology, ebar.com says."
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| SOOOO, basically, I realised I haven't actually used this to say what I've done lately, er, lately. Lately lately sounds odd, doesn't it? I should find a less nonsensical way to word that, but what the fuck ever. My brain is still mush from midterms. Spring break was much too short; I think I need, like THREE weeks off. Ugh.
Anyhow, Spring Break. Over. Sadness. Though, aside from roomies' day-trip to Santa Cruz and educational adventure to the sex store with Mina, it WAS fairly uneventful. Oh, and I spent like 6 hourse cleaning yesterday. Ffffffuck, that blew. But, yes, SC was fun. Picnic, sand castle, running around downtown. I completed my costume for WonderCon! (I'm going as Sarah from "Labyrinth". Don't have a Jareth, but I don't really give a shit. Maybe I'll dress up a doll as Toby or something, though.)
Uhhh... I don't really know what else to say. I'm on class break right now anyway. Siiiigh. I need to check my school website, actually, which I don't want to do. I just know my humanities midterm grade probably sucks balls. I fucking hate that class with a burning fiery passion. I'm dropping it next semester; I don't even give a shit. I don't need it for my major! And, oh shizznits, that reminds me, I need to finish my ball-drop animation! Aaaah, where will I find the time?! | | |
| I often feel like I need advice (mostly with the relationship - I have a one-track mind and extremely low confidence), but I never want to ask anyone for fear of coming off as too "me, me, me" selfish, or ungrateful or something. Sigh. I hate advice columns too, cos they never seem to apply to me. At least not in the way I need them to. Siiiiigh.
I don't want spring break to be over. I'm still too stressed to go back to school. T^T | | |
| This post is pointless (and double-posted from LJ), but, you know, why the hell not?
I'd like to know, out of curiosity alone, has there ever been a line or passage in a fic, fanfic or otherwise, that you had to stop and read over and over again because you related so damn much? Or even in a movie! (Recently when watching "Beauty and the Beast" I nearly burst into tears at the lines "Both a little scared/Neither one prepared". God, I'm such a sap!) Well, it's happened to me many times, and now I am sharing one, from the Jem fic "Picture Books" (Of my favourite pairing, Roxy/Stormer. You can read it here if you want):
"I felt awkward as hell and the idea of touching her was about as appealing as laying my hand on a hot burner, but I did it anyway. I'm not good at this stuff. Laid my hand on her shoulder and pulled away like it might sting. Tried again and held my hand there, forced it to stay. Felt her curl around and fold into me, wrap her arms around my neck and cling to me for dear life. Felt her breath heavy in her chest, felt each sob like it was coming out of me. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders, feeling insanely out of place and like this was all off limits and... god, I wished I'd had someone to do this for me years and years ago.
...
She means more to me than I had ever realized before all this happened, more than I could probably ever admit aloud. I didn't even realize I was crying until suddenly I heard her whispering it would be ok over and over. Her telling me she loved me over and over. Stormer saying it was all gonna be ok.
Oh god, the irony. This from the girl who had totalled years worth of work in a flash of grief stricken rage. This from the girl who just told me she wished she was dead."
Well, there it is. Take from it what you want. Funny, I always related to Stormer, or maybe sometimes Clash, but sometimes I feel just like Roxy does there. Hahaha.
Sorry, non Jemtards. I'm having a moment. Everybody - EVERYBODY - if you feel like sharing any thoughts at all, especially if you'd like to share a passage from any movie or fic (I don't care about the fandom or lack thereof in the case of original fiction) that is just totally you, then go right ahead! I may not reply, but I always love reading what you all have to say to me.
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